No. Beautiful people do NOT have better or more sex.
I really wish I had the guts to end the post there. But I just can’t. I feel compelled to spout more wisdom. No study has suggested that being better looking in any way gets you more sex…or makes you want it more.
And from my anecdotal experience with patients I can tell you that many average looking people are having great sex. Many “beautiful” ones are not.
"Conventionally attractive" does not equate to more sex
The peculiar thing is that sometimes it makes it harder for the “conventionally attractive” person to exist in a world that thinks they must be a sexy human being. Especially women who look “conventionally sexy”. Oftentimes they feel like a fraud, or are even told they are a fraud when they are just not that into sex.
The hard facts
It’s also very possible that two “beautiful” people can have almost no sexual chemistry. That is a hard fact.
As a matter of fact, I had a client once who came in for a low libido. She was living with a perfect “adonis” who had the dream “6 pack abs.” And she just wasn’t interested in sex.
There were a number of things going on, but I vividly remember when, during one of our conversations, it hit her that he actually wasn’t her sexual type. “I think I’m attracted to chubby, teddy bear guys…” she trailed off. That feels crazy. I SHOULD be turned on by him, shouldn’t I? I mean, objectively, he’s gorgeous.”
It just doesn't work that way
Our erotic brains are stubborn, confusing and have a mind of their own. They don’t tend to follow “conventional wisdom”
So for all my “average” looking people who are questioning this, please remember having better and more sex seems to correlate much more with general sex drive and confidence, not conventional communal standards of beauty!
I have so much more information about this in my book Satisfaction Guaranteed. You may want to check it out.
Written By
Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus
Sex Therapist & Relationship Expert | Author of Sex Points & Satisfaction Guaranteed: How to Have the Sex You've Always Wanted