You think that hot woman over there is having great sex? We all have a few crazy ideas about sex:
- That most people are having better sex than we are.
- That for everyone else sex comes easily and naturally.
- That if someone looks confident, then they must be sexually confident.
- That if someone looks sexy, they must be great lovers, be into sex and have all their shit together.
Well have I got news for you:
Some of the patients I see having the best sex are nothing like the sexy people we idealize.
That some of my “sexiest” looking patients are having no sex or disappointing sex. And you know what? The fact that everyone assumes that they have a great sex life makes the burden harder to carry. They feel “disappointed” in themselves, or that they are fooling the world.
Most people can have good sex if they work at it.
Most people have periods where the sex is “meh” or not so great.
Most people have periods where there is little to no sex, or the sex is strained.
Almost everyone can have more of the times where the sex is good, and fun and even great sometimes, if they pay attention and work at it. And that is what feels like my life’s mission. I wrote the book Sex Points to help give women access to the answers they need to have great sex. And all of my work with clients is helping them reclaim their sex lives.
So, if you can, stop making assumptions about all the great sex everyone else is having, because it’s a fallacy. And just commit today to doing something that will help your sex life!