It’s FINE that you Orgasm That Way

I deal with many common misconceptions every day in my practice but here is one that creates so much stress needlessly:

Many, many women have orgasms while lying on their stomachs rather than on their backs, and they feel like there's something strange about it. But let me tell you, it's totally normal and actually pretty common!


I don't have hard statistics, but I'd say around 20% of the women I see prefer the stomach orgasm. And you know what? That's absolutely fine! It all comes down to how our brains get wired and what we learn early on in our experiences. Many women start exploring their bodies and pleasuring themselves when they're young, and for some, the stomach position becomes their go-to method for achieving orgasm. (Think about rubbing against a soft blanket, pillow or toey.) Once that pattern is established, it can be challenging to change.


So, why do these women feel like it's some deep, dark secret? Blame it on popular media! We're bombarded with images of sex that usually involve heterosexual intercourse with the woman lying on her back having mind-blowing orgasms. There's not much room for showing variations, and that's why the stomach orgasm isn't portrayed much. It's a shame, really, because many women feel embarrassed about it and even avoid talking to their partners about it.


But let me clear something up: there's absolutely nothing bad or problematic about having an orgasm on your stomach! An orgasm is an orgasm, and it's equally pleasurable, intense, and valuable, regardless of the position. Sure, it might be a bit more challenging to have your partner stimulate you that way during sex, but it doesn't make the experience any less enjoyable.


Now, the big question is, should you try to change the way you orgasm if the stomach is your preferred posture? Well, it's a personal choice. If you're perfectly happy with the way things are and you and your partner have found what works for you, then keep going! No need to fix something that ain't broke, right?


But if you haven't told your partner about your preference, it's time to come clean. Trust me; living with a deep dark secret about your orgasms is no fun and can lead to resentment. Communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to sexual satisfaction.


Sure, you can try learning to orgasm on your back if you want to explore different options. Practice can help you rewire your brain and expand your pleasure possibilities. But listen, if it becomes stressful or makes you feel bad about yourself, it's not worth it! The most important thing is to enjoy your sex life and have fun with your partner.


So, to all you wonderful women who orgasm on your stomachs, embrace your preferences, communicate with your partner, and most importantly, have a blast! Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to pleasure, and what matters most is that you're happy and fulfilled. You go, girl!


(And read more in my book: Satisfaction Guaranteed: How to Have The Sex You’ve Always Wanted.)



Written By

Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus

Sex Therapist & Relationship Expert  |  Author of Sex Points & Satisfaction Guaranteed: How to Have the Sex You've Always Wanted