It’s FINE that you Orgasm That Way

I read a moving and sad article about lichen planus and vulvodynia. A young woman talks about her vaginal pain and how it has shamed her and ruined her sex life.

Vaginal intercourse became excruciatingly painful and none of her gynecologists could see any problem and so everyone thought it was in her head. Over the years she became more and more avoidant and the lack of sexual contact with her partners ruined a number of relationships.


I have so many thoughts.


I think it was very brave of this woman to describe her situation which has caused her so much shame, self doubt and pain.


I can’t help but wonder how many more women have been told that their pain is “in their heads” because a physician wasn’t able to identify the problem. I wish more MDs would be comfortable saying, “I’m sorry. I just don’t know.” As a practitioner it just makes me so mad. If I had a nickel for every woman we have seen who we have been able to help through physical/medical/behavioral interventions who had spent years in therapy with little to show if it, I’d be rich! I think most women have a gut feeling whether the problem is physical or psychological. We should trust them. And more often than not, pain is PHYSICAL.

If you are having pain, trust yourself and keep looking for someone who can help you!



Written By

Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus

Sex Therapist & Relationship Expert  |  Author of Sex Points & Satisfaction Guaranteed: How to Have the Sex You've Always Wanted