Not knowing about sex is nothing to be ashamed of!

Really. Let’s be honest. Most of us got almost no sex education growing up. There were few resources for us to access easily and effectively.

It was hard to differentiate between correct sexual information and misinformation. How could we possibly feel like we “know about sex??”


And then, to layer on top of that, so many of us feel a sense of shame that we know so little or feel so incompetent when it come to sex.


Here are five things I want you to consider, that may make you feel better:

  1. What you have to understand is that almost everyone feels ignorant about sex. Or, at least not confident. I talk to hundreds of people every year about sex. Almost everyone feels insecure and inadequate. I promise you.
  2. Sex is not rocket science. Basic sexual information is not that complicated, no matter what the media, the experts or your friends may say.
  3. Once you have the “basics”, sex is yours to improvise, enjoy, explore and figure out. Because there really and truly is no “right” way to have sex. Everyone’s sex life and interests are so different from each other. Trust me. You don’t need to know the statistics about everyone else’s sex life to figure out yours.
  4. It’s okay to ask questions. As a matter of fact, it’s GOOD to ask questions. The only bad sex life is the static sex life that is never changing and exploring. So, if you are curious about a particular element of sex, read a book, look it up in a reputable source on line, ask a friend
    or ask a professional. Try not to be embarrassed. See #1.
  5. It’s okay not to know, and ask your partner, if you have one. This may be the most important thing to remember. Being fun in bed does not mean you have to be an expert. It means that you are being responsive to your needs and to your partner’s needs. See #3.


So just remember these 5 things as you approach your sex life. And have fun!



Written By

Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus

Sex Therapist & Relationship Expert  |  Author of Sex Points & Satisfaction Guaranteed: How to Have the Sex You've Always Wanted