Taking Sex Toys Through Airport Security?

 

A few years ago I was heading off to Chicago to speak at a sex therapy and research conference. Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as sex therapy and research conferences (for the record, many of them are not nearly as much fun as they sound, or as they could be, so don’t go Googling and booking your tickets just yet).

 

As my carry-on suitcase went through the scanner, I heard the security guard call for a manual inspection. It figures. Okay…here we go. I dutifully followed my suitcase with the woman inspector to the side, where she proceeded to zip open the suitcase.

 

“Just to let you know” I said, “I’m a sex therapist and there are six vibrators in that suitcase. Would you like me to show you which ones have batteries?” She looked momentarily taken aback but then smiled and said, “No, that’s okay”. However, she then asked me about where these are available, where one can buy them, and seemed so tempted to ask more questions but just didn’t have enough time. I really needed to make my flight. I smiled and offered her my card which she happily took.

 

Just another day in my line of work.

 

On the way home I decided to try a pre-emptive strike instead. “Hi”, I said, all friendly-like to the security guard as my suitcase started its glide through the scanner…“Just wanted you to know…I’m a sex therapist and there are a bunch of vibrators in there, some with batteries”.  Again, a small flicker of surprise, a ghost of a smile and then a “no problem.” And there was none.

 

So, I say…if you’re traveling with a vibrator, go for the pre-emptive strikes. And you have my permission to become a sex therapist for the day if that makes you more comfortable!