So here we are, trying to understand why exactly you have lost your sexual desire. I know it’s frustrating. I feel for you. And I need you to understand that there is a fairly broad list of factors that can be at play.

You need to ask yourselves which ones apply to you, and what can you do to resolve some of them; and then get to work!  Here’s what you might not really get yet… a good sex life with your partner will make the difficult child rearing years so much easier for you as both! 

• You are probably tired and stressed. Taking care of children is more work both physical and emotional then we ever anticipate.
• You may be “over-touched.” Who wants to have their nipples fondled after they’ve just spent the morning breast feeding?
• Your self-definition may have changed unconsciously (or consciously.) Hey, you are the mother of three now. Is it really okay for you to also be the babe who comes into your husband’s shower with a bar of soap, two glasses of wine and nothing on? Or to be the wild woman who screams dirty things as you have an orgasm?
• You may be angry at your spouse.. Perhaps you are upset that more responsibility for the house and the kids seems to always fall on you. And then he expects you to do what?? You may not be outwardly angry,  but maybe angry enough that it is affecting your desire to make love with your partner
• Your hormones likely have shifted significantly during your pregnancy and post-partum. We are just starting to understand how critical a role hormones play in a women’s sexual life and how much they affect our desire, our ability to become aroused and orgasm. This is not a condition that a glass of wine or a romantic dinner can fix.  In this case, it’s not in your head, but in your body.
• The labor, birth, and subsequent episiotomy may have created subtle (or not so subtle) physical changes that seem to make it harder to get aroused and have an orgasm. Hey, when it’s more work, it’s certainly harder to get started. Similarly there may be discomfort and pain as a result. This adds a big obstacle on the road to romance. 
• You’re out of practice. Oddly enough, sex seems to feed on itself. The more you have the more you want. The less you have, the less you seem to think about it.
• Maybe you need a different kind of sex. Your life has changed significantly. Maybe those two- hour love-making sessions are a thing of the past (for right now) and you are having trouble adjusting to a 15 minute “quickie.”

Most likely your low libido is a combination of a few of the issues listed above and perhaps some more I haven't even thought of yet. Feel free to email me, if you want to add to the list! 

Whatever it is, I do want you to know that I have seen many women in this stage take control of their sex life. It’s important to remember that most low libido issues can be resolved with enough open-mindedness, know-how and support. I’ve seen some of the toughest cases turn around. So I know you can do it too.

Don't let your journey end here! If you're looking for more insights and solutions, grab a copy of my book, Satisfaction Guaranteed, or schedule a free 10-minute consultation to explore your next steps. Also check out my new course Curing the Low Libido Bedroom. Designed to help you reignite desire and reclaim intimacy. Your satisfaction starts today!