Let’s get one thing straight—sex is more than just one act. If you think vaginal intercourse is the only way to have a great sex life, you’ve been sold a very boring (and incorrect) version of reality.

There’s oral sex. There’s manual sex. There’s sex with toys, hands, mouths, thighs…you name it. If you can’t have sex one way, guess what? There are other ways to enjoy intimacy, pleasure, and connection.

Take my patient, for example. She had vaginismus (a condition where vaginal penetration is super painful or impossible), and by the time she came to see me, she’d been married for three years. But was her sex life over? Absolutely not. In fact, she and her husband were having sex three times a week—in all sorts of fun, creative ways. She was having orgasms (yes you read that right: multiple) nearly every time. And you know what? She was having fun!!!

Now, is vaginal intercourse a nice option to have? Sure. More options are great!

But should someone feel like their sex life is doomed without it? Not a chance.

Imagine a guy whose wife won’t go down on him—does he wish she did? Probably. But does that mean their entire sex life is over? Of course not. Same goes here.

So, if you (or someone you know) is dealing with painful intercourse, here’s my advice:
1. Get help. There are treatments, and you deserve to feel good.
2. It’s not in your head. Your pain is real but you are not broken.
3. Build a fun, happy sex life anyway.

Takeaway from today? Sex isn’t just one act. It’s about connection, creativity, and importantly, feeling good. So ditch the shame, and open yourself to the options. Then allow yourself to enjoy a whole new way of being intimate.

Don't let your journey end here! If you're looking for more insights and solutions, grab a copy of my book, Satisfaction Guaranteed, or schedule a free 10-minute consultation to explore your next steps. Also check out my new course Curing the Low Libido Bedroom. Designed to help you reignite desire and reclaim intimacy. Your satisfaction starts today!